Top 5 Reasons Why Your Wife Gets Disappointed
It takes two to tango. You and your wife probably have a good working relationship, but you cannot just avoid having arguments—because disappointments are inevitable. As a man, you probably do not often know the reasons behind why your wife gets disappointed at you. And sometimes, when frustration comes, you tend to ask your friends; all your bottled up emotions pour out, over bottles of beer, with your buddies. This is a common problem many husbands encounter.
Keep in mind that when you disappoint someone like your wife, it means you did or did not do something as she was expecting you to. Now, this article is not generalizing, but sometimes, wives do not get over with disappointments easily. Even a simple sorry wouldn’t work because they need to see something change.
But if you keep disappointing your wife without doing anything, you should consider it a red flag and there are some possibilities that she won’t talk to you for a while; unless, of course, you are able to find out the reason and decide to make amends for the better.
The feeling dissatisfaction towards a spouse is a result of a something that the other partner failed to do or not do. It is a result of something that didn’t meet someone’s expectations.
Most people have the kind of mindset to expect the best from someone they love. So, when they are let down, it results to disappointment; and this may trigger the possibility of being depressed—or worst, fed up, if it does happen frequently.
Dealing with disappointments takes courage to do so, because with every lost expectation, it’s up to the other partner if she stays mad. Good thing, women can find many things that can help them relieve the pain of disappointments.
The Conflict Goes Back to the Bible Times
In relationship, disappointment is just one of the causes why couples part. But there are some other reasons why it happens.
Let us take you back in the past where it all began.
The first couple ever made, were Adam and Eve. God created them for a purpose: to have dominion and subdue the earth. They were also allowed to eat anything from the trees in the garden without restrictions— except for one tree, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. They were innocent about everything even with their nakedness. And yes, they knew no sin. But this had soon ended, when a serpent tricked Eve on eating the forbidden fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Eventually, she convinced Adam to partake in such obedience. The serpent had promised her some lies that she believed in; she was fooled into becoming like God if she would eat the fruit.
Upon eating the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve, including the serpent, were cursed by God. Adam was cursed of doing of hard labor with work until he dies; and as for Eve, she will be in a lot of pain during her childbearing and giving birth.
If we were to relate this kind of situation in couples’ relationship, we could say that Adam and Eve had the very first conflict. Adam was so keen on pleasing Eve; he was afraid of disappointing his wife, so he did what she wanted even if it will mean disobedience against God. If husband and wife do not trust each other, and if the man would ALWAYS do what the woman says, both will be burned out and will soon be driven to separate.
Even in the old times, arguments has been there to break relationships. It is just up to the couple if they really choose to stay in the relationship or choose to fall away.
If ever you and your wife have misunderstandings or arguments piled up and you’re in a stage where you’re trying to figure out where your wife is coming from, this article might give you an idea. Here are some top 5 reasons why your wife gets disappointed:
You might not be aware of, but this is the most common disappointment that most men unintentionally do. Sometimes, men tend to ignore their wives—and they are just naturally unaware that women are more sensitive than they could ever think. Worse, men just don’t have any clue when to ask , ‘Is there something that bothers you?’ or ‘Why, what’s wrong?’ Naturally, women will pretend that they’re OK—and men will take that as an obvious cue that there really is nothing wrong. But deep inside, a woman is probably sulking because of man’s insensitivity of the situation and about her feelings.
According to John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars and Women are from Venus, when women are able to express their feelings freely, that’s the time that they feel heard and understood. And this will make them love their partner more; trust, accept, appreciate, admire them and they will feel loved and secure.
So, the next time your wife suddenly gives you that look or the cold shoulder, it means that something is wrong and you might have been a little insensitive to notice it. Try to ask her why she is acting that way, even if she doesn’t want to tell you at first—just probe. She will eventually give in and tell you why she’s disappointed at you.
Forgetting Special Dates
Forgetting your special dates is a red flag for most women. Never ever forget the following: anniversaries, birthdays, and other important events in your life. Why? Because women just love celebrating and looking back to good old days. The reason why they called it “special dates” is because these events left a dent in their hearts.
So, if you unintentionally forgot to greet or prepare something for her on your, say, anniversary, prepare yourself—because she will make sure that you’re getting the message she’d want you to read: she’s pissed off. Yes, women are naturally expressive with their feelings. And if she’s sulking and disappointed, you have to find a way to make her feel better.
Some women don’t demand for gifts as long as you remember these special dates. A kiss, hug, or some flowers will surely make her day. But if you can prepare a surprise for her, it’s much better.
If other commitments keep you from celebrating special dates with your wife, at least let her know that you didn’t forget and will try to arrange a post-celebration—just the two of you. As long as you are communication properly, she’d understand.
You Don’t Help Her with Household Chores and Respect Her House Rules
You wife married you for the reason that she loves you and wanted to be with you the rest of her life. When you got married, you both promised to live for better or for worst, in sickness and in health, and even death won’t be able to separate your hearts away from each other.
Helping her with the house chores is one way of showing her that you’re both in this marriage together—that even the smallest things like tasks, you’re willing to be there for her. Do not think that just because she’s the wife, everything that needs to be done inside the home is her responsibility.
Wives, especially the stay-at-home ones, are naturally a little obsessive-compulsive with house rules. They don’t like it when things are left where they are not supposed to be left. Wives have their own system in keeping order inside the house. And if you’re not keen on knowing about these rules, chances are, you will keep on disappointing your wife on small things. Don’t be like that. Respect how she handles the house and you will get respect in return. If she loves to keep the cereals on the far corner of the cabinet, make sure you put it there after getting some. If she doesn’t like your bag being put on the table, avoid doing it. If she doesn’t like after-shave hairs all over the sink, make sure you’ve cleaned it after shaving. If she doesn’t want you smoking indoors, don’t do it. Most importantly, never ever use these rules against her when the two of you are having an argument. Whether you’re in bad or good terms, leave the rules out of it and comply at all times.
You Don’t Communicate Well
Marriage life is not just all about the good times together. There will always a season for rocky road. Keep in mind that when your marriage is on the rocks, the first thing you don’t want to do is miscommunicate. When arguments arise, keep the communication. Communication is always the key to break the barrier between couples. If you choose to keep silent during and after an argument, this will surely worsen things up. Take to her, make amends or meet half-way. Even if the turn-out is not on your favour, at least you are communicating well. Overlook her constant nagging; there is an effective way to silence your wife without having to raise your voice. Get this: the moment you start talking rationally about the issue, like how real adults would deal with it, she will start to listen to you. Talk her through it with practical reasons, keep your calm, and listen to her side. The moment she feels understood, that’s the moment you’re both winning. Remember, if you both end up sleeping without fixing the mess, then no one’s a winner.
So, the next time you have an argument with your wife, try your best to reach out and communicate with her. Try to hear her through, even if there are times that she always has to repeat herself. She just loves you so much that she would want things fixed rather than keep her pride.
You’re Not Spending Time with Your Kids
Kids are the fruits of your love inside marriage. Both you and your wife have an equal responsibility when it comes to your kids – especially if you’re not just talking about one. One thing that disappoint a wife is when the husband is not being a dad to his kid/s. When you get home from work, try to spend a little time with your kids. If there is one thing that you can do for your wife without being direct is showing having a good time with your little ones. Such scenario will melt your wife’s heart and it will never get old.
Being a dad does not only mean playing with your kids. A wife will also appreciate a little hand when it comes to feeding the kids, dressing them up, reading them stories, and tucking them up to bed.
You know, there’s a saying that whatever good you give your wife, she will give it back to you ten times more. Try doing these things to your kids and watch how your wife will give you more than what you deserve. To be honest, these things make them fall in love with you more.
Disappointments in marriage are totally normal. It is just an indication that nobody is perfect; that you both are capable of making mistakes. It might seem to you that your wife is setting up a high standard that’s impossible to reach. No, it’s always not like that. The reason why she expects something from you is because she’s looking up to you as being the stronger one in the family.
Always remember that in marriage, it is always give and take. So, if it really seems that she’s setting up high standards, try opening up to her and explain why your decisions sometimes don’t match hers. You should both set boundaries and know each other’s expectation. If it doesn’t burn you out and you’re willing to make things right, try to go the extra mile in making your marriage work. Communicate more often, be honest with how you feel and make your approach as gentle as you can. Don’t lie to each other. Nurture your friendship and discover more about your wife as days pass. These things will help you in understanding your spouse more. Do not let disappointments break your relationship as a couple—it is not just worth it. Whenever you’re on the verge of giving up, remember your vows. You promised not only to her, but also to God, that you will stand by her side no matter what. Your wife didn’t marry you, so you could break her. She married you because she knew from the very first time that you’re that missing broken part she’s prayed for a long time ago.
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